Control

False hope once again
A whole dream destroyed
I thought this time I could make a change
Got sucked in with thoughts of what could be
That I forgot to make any plans
And now time is running out
Nothing came to fruit
A waste of time
A waste of thoughts
Got me riding on false hope

I gave up on loving you
Three nights ago to be exact
Pouring my soul out to you
Was my way of chickening out
Scared of being rejected
Scared of not being up to scratch
Was enough reason, for my ego to collapse

I ran
Ran so I don't get hurt
I tell myself every night
It's so you can be happy
But I know I was protecting my own hide
I'm scratched
Damaged goods
I think the whole world knows
I'm fresh
Fresh produce
Too young to be with you
I've been cut
I mended
Usually takes a year or two
This time is a turning point
The last one for me

I used to run
Try my best to escape
To never see their face
Difference is
The time me and you
Are stuck in this place
So i'm sorry if i change
Become a little hard
Stop talking to you at all
And don't enjoy life
It's because i love you
So il distance myself
To make this thing work
Other wise i'll lose it
I'll go completely mad

Best thing would be
That i become a huge jerk
Soulless. Dedicated only to work
Friendless. Spend all my time alone
Collapsing. Let the whole world know

So i will
I'll get far away from me
Leave everything behind
Most of all my personality
I'll become one more
In an army of drones
I'll be another hermit
I'll be in control